Below is the email I sent out to family and friends sharing the sad news that Mom had passed. In case we missed including you or didn’t have your email, this is what it said…
Mom turned 80 on January 31st and she shared her special day with me, Michael, Dee and Ken. We never thought she would be here to see that milestone, but she made it and a few more weeks.
You see, mom was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer early last year.
We went through all the doctor appointments, met with the oncologists and in the end, the only treatment they could offer mom was laser radiation. She would have had to lay on her back on a table and not move a muscle for 30 minutes five days in a row for two solid weeks.
If you knew mom at all, you would know that was impossible. Her back would never let her do that. Besides that, the doctors couldn’t guarantee that mom would live any longer than the six to 12 months she was already given.
She opted to live the life she had left and chose no treatment. I completely supported her decision. But the year that followed was difficult.
We took a trip to Vegas to visit Dee and Ken, got out and about, shopped and visited friends. And, we ate out a lot! Dee and Ken made several trips out to spend time with mom so she had her family around her. But as the weeks went by, mom grew more and more tired. Weak.
She always had a great sense of humor and we laughed a lot. She showed me how to live and how to die.
The last few months were the most difficult. Mom would cycle in and out of very bad periods of weakness. She had several TIAs (small strokes) and lost her appetite.
Yesterday, we lost her.
She had become more than my mother…she was my friend. We have laughed, cried and fought, but we loved each other deeply.
I was lucky enough to be holding her hand when she left here for her next journey. I whispered to her “Call me when you get there, mom, to let me know you got there safe.” For many years, this is what she would say to me every time I headed home after visiting.
It is my greatest wish that she will be seeing old friends who have gone before, hugging her own father who she lost too young and going on crazy adventures.
One of mom’s greatest worries was for her cat, Noel. Noel spent 14 years with mom as her constant companion. Mom claims that the cat saved her life once by warning mom that the burner was leaking gas. I believe it’s true. The two had a very special bond.
I have tried over the last several months to find a home for Noel with no success. I was finally left with the only humane option of putting her down. But the night mom passed, I called her friends Aida and Kamal. I happened to ask Aida if she knew of anyone who might be a good fit for Noel and she quickly said “We’ll take the cat!” Even after I explained that Noel is an old gal and cannot be let outdoors, she still insisted that they take her in…
That was my last great worry and I’m so grateful for her rescue. Thank you Aida and Kamal, I know mom will be thrilled that her friend has a place in your home.
I miss my mom so deeply and cannot believe she is really gone.
You are receiving this email because you were so very important to her. She highly valued her friends and family. She was lucky to have such good friends in her life, many who have stayed in touch for decades. We don’t have everyone’s email addresses, so please feel free to forward this to anyone who knew mom.
Mom didn’t want a service and Dee and I don’t know what, if any, memorial we will have. Mom’s friends are so dispersed and many not able to travel. She knows you love her and if you ever want to talk about mom and share stores, just hit reply and let me know. We’ll get on the phone and make each other smile with some fond memories.
To a life well lived…you are missed mom.
Love and hugs,
Ree and Dee
Im still affected by dads loss. I have his messages saved on my answering machine and listen to them as if he’s still here with me. Needless to say, I cry while I hear his voice knowing that I can’t catch him up with what’s going on in all our lives. It’s crazy to think he’s been gone almost two years Sept.
I had wondered if there was a site set up for your mom and low and behold I found this. You all did such an amazing job on it. Your mom would be so proud. I had been looking at all the pictures and the ones of her elephant collection made me laugh. I remember her having so many. In fact, I remember her having the record (I’m sure the spelling is going to be wrong) ooh e ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang (witch doctor song or something)..lol. We used to listen to it all the time. Ha ha.
Michelle
Yikes, I was afraid that would be how it would go. I miss Mom so much now and keep hoping it will get better with time…but apparently it doesn’t. I have a couple of Mom’s vmails on my cell phone and worry they’ll get erased. There’s a company you can use to get those vmails saved to files and I think I’m going to do that.
Thank you for liking the site we built, it has been a labor of love. You probably remember that orange was Mom’s favorite color so of course we had to use that. Besides, it feels happy.
I remember you and Danny when you were little; you were both such cute kids! The song you mentioned brought back such great memories! Here’s a link to a YouTube video so you can enjoy it again! https://youtu.be/cmjrTcYMqBM
Stay in touch…we’ll keep your Dad and our Mom together by doing so. And, if you feel like it, send me a post and a picture (or more) and I’ll put it up on the site for you. That would be AWESOME!
Hugs ~
Ree
I’m so truly sorry for your loss. I just currently found out she had passed. I know Maggie and my dad are looking down on all of us laughing and enjoying the after life together…they had been the best of friends.
God Bless
Michelle
Oh, Michelle, thank you for coming here and making a comment. I know Mom would love that you did and so do I.
Mom loved Robert (or Bubba, as she was fond of calling him) like a brother. She was deeply affected by his loss. I never really understood the gravity of her emotions until I lost her.
While other family members have passed, none were as close to me as Mom. I had no way of understanding the gravity of that kind of loss until she passed. I wish I could have been of more comfort to her.
I’m sure you still feel the loss of your father as if the loss were just yesterday. I know that’s how I feel about Mom. I knew Robert for more than 35 years; he was one of the kindest people I’ve ever known. He taught me how to make bran muffins by cutting down an enormous recipe they used at the bakery! Those were amazing muffins!
I hope you’re right and they’re together again having fun, bargain shopping and getting into trouble.
Thank you again, Michelle, it means so much to me and Dee when people who knew Mom show up here and share.
With gratitude ~
Ree
Thank you Ree, for being there to hold her hand.
Thank you, Dee. The good news is that she knew one of us would be holding her hand…had she passed just a week earlier, it would have been you.